I’ve had blogs before. I’ve had Myspace, AIM (including an embarrassing Buddy Profile in which there was a tab in there where I simply LISTED MY FRIENDS [and by friends I mean every person I could think of when I was a 12 year old sitting at my computer] because I thought it was important to have one single column of names to show everyone who looked how many friends I had), Xanga (omg, remember that?!), Blogspot, Tumblr, Facebook, you name it. I am a social media whore.
But now it’s time to get serious.
As serious as a sassy southern California beezy can be, that is.
Some people go to medical school, trade school or even clown school to find their niche in the world, but at 21 years old, I’m pretty sure this is my end-game. And I’m totally okay with it. Because what better way to get away with bitching and complaining in fragmented-yet-totally-sensical (is that even a word? who cares. this is my post and I’ll do what I want)-and-hilarious sentences than on a blog?
Let me first say, before you roll your eyes, which I’m pretty sure you’re in the midst of doing (unless you’re like me and have perfected the fasted-eye-roll-in-the-west eye-roll like me. It’s like, one of my greatest specialties), that I know you don’t care about my blog. I’m not one of those pretentious assholes that thinks what I have to say is the greatest thing since Mama Monster’s latest rant about gay marriage and being “born this way”. All I’m saying is that sometimes the world can be mean, cruel and utterly and irreverently hilarious and if we can’t whine about the it, then we have to just deal with living in it. And there’s NOTHING funny about that.
So come along for the ride. I promise you won’t be disappointed.